FACING THE MUSIC - Model.Life.

Everyone loves a good story. Whether it’s about work, friends, love or family we all love hearing about a bit of drama. Face it that’s why we love certain TV shows or movies. I started watching the good old Gossip Girl series and since episode 1 I was hooked… why? Because of the drama of course!! And OMGoodness the drama is massive in that show!

Let’s then start by being completely honest… People love gossip. In many cases a story is blown up not because the person got really hurt but because the story can be sooo much better if the drama was turned up just a smidge. In many cases people would rather hold on to the drama or story because what fun would it actually be to just be mature and grown up and sort the situation out between the two parties involved without involving all your friends and family. No one wants to suck up their pride; in fact everyone wants to be seen as a victim/hero that overcame a battle by fighting till the end. You see one thing I have learned is that life isn’t like a movie. Most of the time when you expect something to turn out one way, it goes in a complete different direction.

Once upon a time there was girl part of a kingdom that was one of many. This Kingdom had a ruler that had a plan to be different from the rest. But not all in this kingdom always saw eye to eye with the ruler. One day the ruler decided to make changes in the royal court. The changes were quite abrupt and left many in shock as well as without a job. The girl found herself wrapped up in the middle of all the chaos, as the members dismissed from the royal court came to confide in her. When the ruler heard about this he immediately made a call to share his side of the story. The girl was absolutely flabbergasted by the concerns on her thoughts of the matter. She thought that maybe this would be her time to help the people of this kingdom and others, to help people see the full truth of the behind the scenes of the kingdoms. The girl shared her heart on the matter on both sides of the quarrel; hoping to get the truth so all can be done with and everyone can move forward living happily ever after. Time after time she invested herself in the matter but nothing came from it. Nothing changed on either sides of the Kingdom. In fact everything fizzled out and there was no magical ending. There wasn’t a full stop found at the end of this feud. And no one was the hero or villain, everything just carried on, no conclusion was made. The Kingdom and its ruler carried on the way they did before and the dismissed parties of the royal court joined another kingdom. The End.

Not the kind of story anyone would want to be part of right? But this is reality. I was the girl trying to make the difference in a ‘kingdom’ I used to be part of. We always want a magical or dramatic ending to a story like this one. We want there to be a moment where the full truth comes out and everyone gasps. But truth is that rarely happens. People don’t speak the truth, or the whole truth, because they might be afraid of what people think or maybe that will make the story boring?

Not too long ago I ‘kind of’ ended a friendship with someone I’ve been friends with for a long time. To be honest the ‘kind of’ is because I tried to explain my hurts and thoughts to this person but it just seemed like they never really understood. So the friendship was still ‘kind of’ happening because I could never just face the truth and say that the friendship was over. So I held on to it. I held on to the drama, the rejection and denial in hoping that the other person would actually just do something or say something to give me closure. That never happened. So throughout the whole time I was waiting for the person to do something, I was just simmering in the hurt and pain, allowing myself to find more faults or get angrier. Meanwhile the other person probably never even realized what I was going through. We eventually set up a meeting and I was still hoping to have a proper talk with this person, like tell them exactly how much they have hurt me. But it didn’t happen like that at all. There was another incident that took over our conversation.

Leaving that day, I realized that sometimes we will find closure not in a massive dramatic fall out, but in just embracing the reality of the situation. I wanted to speak my hurts so badly that it clouded my judgement to see that the friendship was actually over already, there was nothing more I could’ve said or done.

This, in many cases, is how people go through life. They hold on to the things that make the story a bit ‘juicier’, but with holding on they never really allow themselves to move on. People always say they don’t want drama, but when drama comes knocking they don’t think twice to open the door.

The modelling industry is full of drama… If it’s not a difficult client that you are working with, it’s drama at your agency where a booker has their favourites or the wrong info was sent out for a casting. The truth is, everyone deals with similar situations in every job, and sometimes we just choose to make a bigger deal out of it than we should.

Drama shouldn’t be the reason why we take longer to get over something. It’s almost like we are so afraid to just live above the opinions and voices of others. Is it because we are afraid of being boring? Or is it because we are to prideful to admit that we are actually just human and we make mistakes and misjudge situations? Or are we people pleasers that want to please the people and their opinions so bad that we either create the drama to prove a point or make up a story to hide our own faults? Or is it revenge, you want to hurt someone to show them how much they hurt you?

Whatever it is, we all have our reasons but doesn’t there come a time in our lives where we realize that we can be bigger than all the back stabbing and holding on to all the hurt? We will always try to justify ourselves, almost denying that what we are doing or saying is valid even if it’s costing us our joy and freedom to just have a good day. What would happen if everyone started facing the music? Actually just truthfully dealing with the problem in front of them without adding a bit of spice along the way?

I don’t want to be stuck in old ways of doing things, nor do I want to allow childish ways to cloud my judgement to make a mature decision. Maybe it’s time we all take a look at how we can change our way of thinking instead of constantly pointing the blame to someone else. At the end of the day we are all responsible for our own happiness, maybe we can start looking in the mirror before shining a spot light on someone else’s faults.