TOUGH CHOICES - Model.Life.

At some point in our lives we all face making some tough decisions. Whether it’s ending a relationship with someone, moving to a new location or quitting your job, even if we go through the same thing a hundred times, while you’re in the midst of the chaos, it’s just never easy.

When I moved to Cape Town the decision wasn’t really the hard part, but what came after was. Let me track back a bit. Whilst still in High School my agency in Johannesburg introduced me to their branch in Cape Town. The scout was eager to get me in CT to get my modelling career started there, but my agent and I agreed it would be better for me to finish school and then think about going after. Shockingly there were many girls that didn’t bother finishing high school to start their careers as models. My opinion, please finish school, education is very important and let’s be real not everyone can be a model for the rest of their life. Moving on… My decision to move to CT only came a few years later. It wasn’t a very hard one, in fact I can’t even remember making the choice, all I remember is having all my things in my parents car making our way down to Cape Town.

After I moved into my new place and my parents had gone home, reality settled in quite quickly. I didn’t have any family or friends here, I had to start my life over completely. I had my agency and I was getting some work but it wasn’t going as well as I had hoped. I had to ask my parents for help every other month but other than that I was quite determined to get by on my own. After about a year and a half of calling Cape Town my home, I was faced with a very difficult choice. I’ve had some trouble with my agency and I felt like it was time for me to make a shift. I can understand how this might not seem like a big deal, as there are so many agencies in CT, but this wasn’t an easy choice. This agency was the reason why I had moved to Cape Town in the first place. After seeing my family for the holidays I came back with my heart set. I was going to leave my agency and find myself a new one. I wasn’t sure where exactly I’d go but I knew I needed to make a change. Once I made the decision and I signed up with my new agent everything started falling into place.

The reason why I have decided to share this, is because recently I had to make another really tough decision for my life. It’s a choice I have been struggling with for a long time. It involved more than just one area in my life. And to be honest it has probably been one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. There were many opportunities to settle, to take an easier outcome. But I stuck it out because I needed change (once again).

I think most of us get to a point in life, probably more than once, where there is a fork in the road. The decision we have to make is never easy but yet so necessary. I have also unfortunately witnessed a few cases where people don’t want to choose and they just keep going without actually dealing with the obstacle in front of them. Mostly those people never find true joy because they always have something holding on to them. This has been the case for me until now recently. I wasn’t very happy where I was and I knew there was a change needed, I even knew what the change was. But I didn’t want to face it because it meant letting go of something. It meant maybe having a really honest and tough conversation and facing a lot of questions that I maybe didn’t necessarily know the answers to.

But I can honestly say making that choice will bring freedom. Freedom of feeling stuck, freedom of feeling unsettled and just freedom in joy. Sometimes taking a hard step takes more out of you than you hoped, but what comes after, fills you back up again. It fills you with a new opportunity, a new friend, a new adventure, a new understanding. And the only way you will know if it was the right decision is to actually make one and go with it.

I believe for change to come a choice needs to be made. One can’t just speak about change or things you should or shouldn’t do and expect things to start shifting. Sometimes we are going to have to take a leap. We are going to have to take a step in the dark, without knowing if a new door will open. But if you are in need of a change, for something fresh or new n your life maybe it is time to have a little (or maybe a lot) of faith and close that door you have been holding on to, that thing that’s been causing a frustration in your heart. Close it and let it go. Then when that new door opens you will be able to receive it with a fresh mind set and a new outlook without looking back.